As I sit here in a relatively calm and quite house, I am still worried about my baby upstairs. Not Georgia, Charli (Charli Kate - as she INSISTS on being called these days). She is my first born. She will always be my baby.
I have gotten lots of cuddles the past few days because my girl is sick. Really sick. She has the flu and or some kind of chest cold. It is accompanied by a gross, phlegm cough and raspy voice. Her fever has been controlled with Tylenol and Ibuprofen and she rallies pretty well after each dose.
I HATE seeing my kids sick. Fortunately, she rarely gets sick. I just can't stand seeing them in physical pain. I was thinking about how much I hate that and how blessed we have been to not have to endure any major illness. That thought process lead me to think about later on in life. Will I be one of 'those moms'? Will I be so anxious of my kid experiencing pain that I will protect them at all costs?
I refer mostly to the stage mom or the mom who doesn't think her kid should have consequences they don't like. I am talking about parents who raise hell with the principal who then makes the teacher change the kid's legitimate F to a higher grade. It happens people.
I am talking about the mom who calls me, irate that her daughter is not in the front row of the routine. The mom who hates the missed opportunities to be a cheerleader and lives through her daughter. I could go on with scenarios in this area but I am hoping you get my drift.
I have such disdain for people who won't let their kid try and fail. How else will they learn, right? But, if I am honest, I don't look forward to that. I can hope that I teach my kids well and they make good decisions with minimal fall. That would be ideal. I can't fool myself into thinking that is going to happen though.
I am sure Charli will make a mistake as a student. She may chose to stay up late and not study for her test. If she gets a bad grade, I have to let it roll. There is a delicate balance here. I am nervous as to what side I will fall on.
I would like to think that being around some of the parents I work with in cheer, that I have seen what I want to be like and what I want to avoid. I would like to think I won't make the same mistakes. Some times it scares me though but cause I would love to protect my girls from pain.
Maybe the fact that I am aware this could happen to me will be enough to keep me from falling over that dangerous and frankly, annoying edge. We shall see.
PS...There are more cheer parents that are wonderful than the kind of parent I mention above.
1 comments:
As a parent of an 18 year old and a 12 year old, and as a 20 year veteran teacher, I can tell you that there are more dysfunctional parents than there are effective ones. Just take a look at our society...Balloon boy's parents, Kate Gosselin, etc.. They have their counterparts who have not made it to reality TV. (I am not an old foggy by the way who is yearning for the good old days...I'm only 41.)
As parents we make all types of mistakes as we raise our children. Those user manuals help, but don't always work because every child, every parent, and every household is unique. However, what I have experienced in 20 years of educating children, is that the dysfunctional parents are often the most vocal in schools... paradoxically the ones in control of the PTA, and the ones who are clueless about the character of their children. (Probably because they spend little time actually talking to their children and getting to know them.) These parents are more often than not the rabblerousers with no grounds to complain, but ironically their children are the closet bullies, the underachievers (and boy do we have almost a whole generation of those...God help us in 20 years), or the children placed in honors classes because of the parents' clout within the school and not on any type of merit. These parents...who you will meet or perhaps whom you have already met, give the semblance that they care about education, but are the first ones to remove their children from challenging classes because they prefer their child earn an A and coast through learning absolutely nothing new, rather than allow their child to earn a B and have to work for every point. That is the culture of this country in suburban public schools which many of these more vocal parents help to promulgate...parents hover over their kids to such an extreme they believe their children can do no wrong...these parents will lie and make excuses to cover up for their children. And they never allow them to experience the consequences of their actions or failure. Facing negative consequences for wrongdoing and failing can build character...that is not to say you should sit back and watch your child fail, but as your child grows up, as parents we need to step back and allow them to be held accountable for their mistakes. Today, when a child fails to study for a test, and earns an F, the parents don't hold the child accountable, they blame the teacher for not providing the child with the proper test format to meet the child's learning style. Or they say the teacher had it out for the child. I could go on and on with examples of the way parents today enable their children to lie and underachieve. There are many good parents out there too obviously, but as your children grow, you'll realize you may have to protect them more from society's agenda which wants them to underachieve. Being cognizant of this issue already makes you a proactive parent!
Ary,Fellow Cureton Resident
The Empowered Teacher
theempoweredteacher.blogspot.com
Post a Comment